By THEA RUTHERFORD

FN Features Editor

thea@nasguard.com

In the last hours of her life, Tiffany Smith was arrayed in white. Her sister, Shavon Munnings, remembers her in an alabaster haze. Tiffany was the dreamy whisp of a memory who had chuckled impishly with her, who had "just wanted to talk" to her older sister since Sunday.

"She kept trying to get me to come out," says Ms. Munnings, 40, her face calm with the hint of a smile; her voice just an octave or two above a whisper.

Already in for the night, she had declined Tiffany's invitations that Sunday evening. And she didn't see her all of the next day.

But Tiffany kept up her relentless efforts to talk to her sister.

"I had lots of missed calls on my cellphone," Ms. Munnings remembers of that Monday. But the sisters never met that day.

The following day, a Tuesday, hours before she died, Tiffany would see her sister. Just for a few moments. Long enough to embed her smile, her laugh, snippets of peaceful conversation and her ominously white outfit into Ms. Munnings' mind for months to come.

After dropping her back to her shop and driving off laughingly, the next time Ms. Munnings saw her sister, "I couldn't see nothing white on her anymore," she says in a quiet daze. "She was washed in her own blood."

A year ago yesterday, Tiffany Smith, 30, joined scores of women around the world who become fatal victims of domestic violence.

The numbers

According to "Ending Violence Against Women," an article found in Population Reports journal and written by L. Heise, M. Ellsberg and M. Gottemoeller, a third of the women around the world have been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in their lifetimes.

Recent findings of the World Health Organisation's first study on domestic violence for which 24,000 women in 10 countries were interviewed, indicate very poor health in abused women. Such women suffer from mental problems that include distress and suicide attempts.

"Ending Violence Against Women and Girls: A Human Rights and Health Priority," Chapter Three of an online United Nations Population Fund (UNFP) report, further notes that studies suggest widespread instances of domestic violence in most societies, and adds that domestic violence is a frequent cause of female suicide.

In The Bahamas, according to Homicide in The Bahamas 1991 – 2003, A Descriptive Research Study written by Detective Corporal Chaswell Hanna, Domestic 'B' murders, where 'B' represents disputes that centred around intimate relationships inclusive of marriage and simple courtship, 60 murders had resulted from such domestic disputes in that time period. Domestic 'B' cases had accounted for 10 percent of the murders, the third highest number of cases, in that 12-year period.

In his book Corporal Hanna reports that the rate for Domestic 'B' murders was "significantly" higher in the Family Islands, the islands other than New Providence and Grand Bahama.

What is domestic violence?

While domestic violence continues to be a festering sore on the public conscience around the nation as women and men suffer behind closed doors at the hands of abusive spouses and partners, attorney, Constance McDonald, pointed out in a forum held on the matter by the GB Crisis Centre in February, that the 1991 Sexual Offences and Domestic Violence Act Chapter 99 does not define domestic violence. In her speech, Ms. McDonald, among other things, questioned what degree of molestation or violence actually added up to domestic violence.

Noting that while in some jurisdictions acts such as pestering, assault, lying in wait, stalking, repeated telephoning, sending threatening letters or any other form of harassment constitute molestation, the lawyer pointed out that the Law Commission in England has stated that domestic violence comes in many forms.

"The term has a wider meaning in addition to the narrower meaning of the use of threat or physical force which includes any form of physical, sexual or psychological molestation or harassment which has a serious detrimental effect upon the health or well-being of the victim," she said.

This wider definition encompasses actions such as persistent pestering and intimidation through shouting derogatory remarks, threats or arguments, damaging property and/or installing a mistress in the matrimonial home among others.

"I have had cases where the husband has left (written) messages on the wife's car or at her workplace," said Ms. McDonald, who also added that it was not uncommon for husbands to break into homes.

"They are usually also very successful at hiding from the police," said the attorney. "Many times the abuser is under the influence of alcohol or drugs. The sentiment that I have often had expressed is, 'she is my wife' as if it is okay to abuse a wife."

Ms. McDonald has also observed that in some cases where children are involved and the father has received visitation rights, the abuser uses the child as a pawn to provide further access to abusing the mother.

"It is my belief that we really need a Family Court staffed by persons who are trained counsellors," she said. "In a situation where there is domestic violence the entire family is in need of counselling.

"Many women end up returning to their abusive husbands without having gone through any form of counselling. Thereafter they are too ashamed to admit that they are still being abused, hence they fail to report the abuse. This is not surprising since most persons stay in abusive marriages or relationships because they are either emo-

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tionally dependent or financially dependent on their spouse. They are afraid of what the abuser would do if they leave and also what will happen to them and the children."

Citing an example of an abused pregnant woman who had been punched in the stomach by her husband and had three of her ribs cracked, and was told by a pastor to forgive her husband and to go back home, Ms McDonald said, "It is very important that as a society we send the message loud and clear that the marriage licence is not a licence to kill, maim and destroy."

"I told her she could forgive him," said the attorney, "but unless she took action against him she was giving him a licence to continue to abuse her."

The law

Three provisions are made in Section 31 of the Sexual Offences and Domestic Violence Act for married people who apply to the Supreme Court for injunctions as a result of domestic violence.

In her address Ms. McDonald outlined these provisions which include restraining the offending person from molesting the applicant or the child living with the applicant; excluding the other party from the matrimonial home or a part of the home for no more than three months and requiring the other party to enter and remain in the matrimonial home or a part of it.

"Section 32 empowers the Court to attach power of arrest to the injunction if the Court is satisfied that the applicant has caused actual bodily harm and is likely to do so again," Ms. McDonald said.

In this case the officer can arrest the person believed to be in breach of the injunction without a warrant. If found guilty by the Supreme Court, that person may be ordered to pay a sum of no more than $2,000. Continuous breach of the injunction can result in an order by the Supreme Court to pay a sum of no more than $100 for each day that the offender is in breach.

According to Section 35 of the Act, the Magistrate's Court may order an individual not to use or threaten violence against the spouse or child of a family, require the individual to leave the matrimonial home or prohibit entrance to the home or attach power of arrest to the order, if satisfied that, on application, an individual has used, or threatened to use violence against the applicant or a child of the family who are in need of protection.

However Ms. McDonald noted that in her experience with the Supreme Court, "Judges are sometimes reluctant to grant an injunction. The party committing domestic violence would often come to Court and give an undertaking so as to prevent an injunction being granted against him in the Supreme Court or an order being made in the Magistrates' Court. After a while the party being abused gets tired of trying to obtain an injunction as they get frustrated by the process."

Can domestic

violence occur outside of

marriage?

"It also appears that domestic violence can only occur in a marriage," Ms. McDonald said, as the wording in the aforementioned Sexual Offences and Domestic Violence Act appears only to refer to married people.

"It appears, therefore, that persons who live together and jointly own their homes are left without a remedy, insofar as barring the offending party from the jointly owned home."

The attorney did note though, that the abused partner in a domestic violence case between unmarried people can seek a binding over order from the Magistrate's Court. In cases where the parties jointly own a home, the abused partner can go to the Supreme Court for severance of the joint tenancy.

"In my opinion," she offered, "the domestic violence act should be invoked for the lesser offences. The criminal law should be invoked for the unlawful wounding, grievous bodily harm, assault occasioning actual bodily harm and aggravated assault."

'Dose of reality'

As Ms. Munnings recalls the circumstances surrounding her sister's death, her last days, her final hours, her eyes flutter every now and then as if to will away tears. She has broken down before, in an earlier recount of the tragic event. This time, her memories are lined with resolve.

"She went in a horrifying way but she could never hurt again," says Ms. Munnings with a hushed assuredness.

"Maybe it had to happen that way for us to learn. Sometimes you have to sacrifice someone you love to help other people. Sometimes that happens..." she says.

She's forgiven the killer, ("I cannot walk with that burden," she says with a simple smile and an endless measure of faith), she's moved on and now this grieving sister says that "it's not about us," meaning her family, Tiffany's survivors. And the fight that she is now muscling up for is only partially for her slain sister.

Ms. Munnings wants to use her sister's death, "as a dose to reality," she says.

What happened to Tiffany, "was something to make every woman think."

A victim too

Married too young and too soon, Ms. Munnings says that she too became a victim of domestic violence. For 14 years she see-sawed in and out of an on again off again marriage characterised by material support, (she insists that her husband was a good provider), and violence.

Separated from her husband for the past 10 years, Ms. Munnings says that headaches and marks that are still with her are relics that persist of a relationship that is now over.

"I still have marks. I have a dimple, a chipped tooth. I know where it came from," she says matter of factly.

The things that continued to draw her back for over a decade, the lack of self-understanding, the dependence, have all been stripped from her. Ms. Munnings has learned to love herself.

"I'm still happy. I just learned how to appreciate life," she says.

At 17, the age at which she married her 22-year-old husband, Ms. Munnings says "I had nothing to give. You need to know you before you can give anything to anyone else," she says she has learned. "You have to have something for yourself and at that age, 17, what did i have to give? Nothing."

The process of learning to love herself, she says, was gradual, but eventually she left her abusive relationship for the last time.

For those caught in the type of relationship that became deadly for her sister, Ms. Munnings warns earnestly, "you can walk out or be taken out."

"When you leave, don't go back" she says remembering the years that she continued to go back to her own abusive relationship.

"You have to learn not to go back," she says. "People do not change unless they are converted with Christ."

Hope in a

safe-house

With her sister heavily on her mind, Ms. Munnings has embarked on a new mission to create a safehouse, a shelter for battered women.

So far, she has secured the house, a 10 room outfit in a residential neighbourhood. It will be called the Tiffany Smith Safe-Haven.

While a shelter for battered women exists in the capital, there is none to date on Grand Bahama, though the GB Crisis Centre assists victims in finding alternative living arrangements.

Ms. Munnings' endeavour will create a necessary outlet for abused women with nowhere to go.

"It's not a place for people to abuse. It is for people who really need to be helped, who really don't have anywhere to go" says Ms. Munnings who notes that the housing is a temporary refuge. Residents will be allowed to stay for up to three months while staff help them to become independent by finding employment and afffordable housing.

Ms. Munnings envisions a well-rounded establishment. Her eyes glow as she describes the utopia she wants to create. There will be rooms for the residents, abused women who need a place to stay, and rooms for children who are not babies — one for boys and one for girls. Ms. Munnings explains that the separation of the sleeping quarters is to give mothers time to grieve or go through whatever emotions they may face apart from their children.

The house will be equipped with a kitchen, a waiting room and a counselling room for weekly group sessions. Ms. Munnings wants counselling to play a major role in life at the house.

And if a relationship "is salvageable, we would like to give everyone counselling," she says.

Ms. Munnings also wants top security for the safehouse. She wants to get the police and a neighbourhood watch involved as well as regular night-time security.

A not-for-profit venture, the safehouse she envisions will depend heavily on the support of the community, Ms. Munnings expresses. She is planning a fund-raiser, a ball to aid the mid-summer establishment of the safehouse.

Reaching others

Tomorrow night, in a further effort to raise the awareness on domestic violence, Ms. Munnings has planned a candlelight vigil at Agape House. The service will take place at 7 p.m.

"My thing is to reach those who are crying for help," she says. "Leave abusive situations," she warns. "Stay out."

Meanwhile, Ms. Munnings has a responsibility to her sister, an unspoken promise, that she holds closely to her heart. "Her eyes are always looking at me," she says of Tiffany whose black and white foggy picture hangs prominently in her shop.

"She's expecting me to do something."

Sources:

Chapter 3: Ending Violence against Women and Girls

A Human Rights and Health Priority

http://www.unfpa.org/swp/2000/english/ch03.html

Domestic Violence: An Overview

Domestic Violence Statistics: Prevalence and Trends

http://www.therapistfinder.net/Domestic-Violence/Domestic-Violence-Statistics.html