By Pastor Ricardo Bain

Part III

We have spent the last two weeks looking at reasons why young people tend to trust their feelings over the principles of the word of God as their basis for living. However, this week we attempt to get solution oriented in our approach to this challenge.

What can we do in and through our homes and ministries to bring about a corrective shift that would lead to a balanced and biblically realistic knowledge of who God is and how to live in His word according to His will? How can we teach our youth to embrace a faith that shapes and informs their emotions, rather than the other way around?

First, always, always, always emphasize the authority of the Word – Most youth don't realize that all of their decisions in life are made based on some authority. Usually it's a combination of authorities adopted unconsciously, including peers, media, parents, self, etc. While it is worth seeking out and accepting wise advice from these people and things, the primary authority we're called to consciously live under is the authority of the One who made us. We must teach our youth to consciously recognize, understand and embrace God as the authority in their lives, looking to the incarnate Word Jesus. In our postmodern world we can easily be tempted into feeling like we should downplay any truth claims, including those found in the Scriptures. It would be a shame for history to remember our era as the watershed moment when parents, pastors and youth workers didn't do enough to help kids embrace the authority of the Word over the whims of their wind-blown emotions. Feelings should never eclipse truth.

Second, teach them about the dangerous practice of trusting their feelings – I have learned to never, ever make choices when my emotions are especially high or especially low. If I do, I might give my feelings the sway they shouldn't have. Walk the youth you know and love through the Scriptures to see how dangerous emotions can be. The Old and New Testaments are full of examples of people who allowed their feelings to eclipse truth and suffered the consequences (David and Bathsheeba, Lot's wife, Ananias and Sapphira, etc.). On the positive side, the Scriptures and the history of the church also are filled with stories of those who refused to equate the absence of good feelings with the absence of God (Noah, Abraham, Joseph, David, Job, Paul, etc.). They held on to the truth they knew even though their feelings led them down the road of being tempted to do otherwise. One of the best and most convincing tools in your arsenal is to become vulnerable with your youth, sharing the good, bad and ugly from your own life and feeling-based choices.

Third, make sure they know that following Jesus doesn't always feel good – It wasn't until later in life, when I thought that difficulty in life was a sign of the absence of God's blessing and presence, that the words of Jesus – "take up your cross and follow me" – suddenly became real. I learned that the life of discipleship is costly, painful and usually quite difficult. Martyrs for the faith know grace, mercy and peace. I don't believe that they really feel good – physically or emotionally – while dying for their faith. Chances are your youth won't be martyred. But they will suffer in this life. Most of them are suffering already. They need to know that growth usually comes through suffering. In the words of one preacher, "God often puts his children to bed in the dark." Rarely is it something that we like. We need to teach our youth to meet the unchanging God who is – rather than invent a god that makes sense at the moment – in the midst of their suffering.

Fourth, give them the knowledge and skill to utilize the "this I knows." It is important to have scripture memorization as a part of your youth experience. These "this I knows" embedded in the minds of young people will serve as a powerful force for good in the time of temptation and trial. I often remind myself of the "this I knows" – the truths that never waver or change – that serve to keep my emotions, and the dangerous choices that could result from trusting them, in check. I have learned to talk to myself, rather than listen to my emotions. We would serve our youth better if we would fill their wells full of "this I knows."

So take these little nuggets and build a bridge across the chasm that seems fixed between the emotions-crazed youth lives and the word of God! His cause would be better if you do, you would be better if you do, the youth would be better if you do. I have begun to use these, and I hope you would too!