Coach 'em up – coaching life for youth

Pastor Ricardo bain

Part I

I remember when I was really good at basketball! I could move with lightening speed dribbling a ball up and down a court. (I must admit that I can hardly move past half court now without being injured) I had some memorable games (with the B.A. Stars and the Y-Cares Destroyers) scoring 20 and sometimes 30 points a game (quite an invincible feeling). Games were just wonderful when we won, and when we lost it sucked. However even when we lost some games there was never a feeling of insurmountable defeat. We had a coach that was good at letting us know that defeat is never to be accepted as normal. We felt like being defeated was strange – an anomaly! Our coaches whose names were Coach Burrows and Coach John gave us some lessons for life. Many of us were able to transfer those lessons of surmounting defeat to our individual lives. All of these instructions, verbal and nonverbal were instilled because of great coaching from capable men who we saw as fathers.

Likewise young people today need to have life coaches to build solid lives. Yes, parents play a critical role

in rearing children. Parents though, aren't with their children all the time. Sometimes they are at school, church, a youth group, a ball game etc. They need to have people at all of these entities to make deposits of courage and hope into their lives; to receive dividends of productive lives. So what is being a life coach all about? Can you handle this work? Is it really going to make a difference in the lives of the youth you connect with? What kind of challenges might I face? All of these will be answered in this two part series on "Coaching life for Youth."

Stuart Tyner a noted writer, and a great youth life coach once spoke about a life coach's responsibility this way: "A life coach is a close, trusted and experienced counsellor, guide or role model. Coaching life is a nurturing relationship that facilitates growth, such as that of a senior business partner helping a junior partner to achieve professional success. The coach challenges, motivates, encour-ages, sets performance standards, helps make connections and gives support." In a youth ministry setting, this nurturing can be referred to as "coaching faith life." This is really the purposeful connection between a youth leader, parent, or another adult and an adolescent that inspires spiritual growth and enhances the discerning of God's active grace in our lives.

In the Bible there were many such "Life Coaches" (If you still say MENTOR – YOU ARE GETTING OLD!) These examples are my favourites. I encourage you to read their stories and see what meaningful life coaching is all about.

1. Jethro and Moses – Exo-dus 18:1-27

2. Moses and Joshua – Jos-hua 1:1-18

3. Elijah and Elisha – II Kings 2:1-25

4. Paul and Barnabas – Acts 13:13-52

5. Paul and Timothy – Acts 16:1-5; I Timothy 6:11-21

In her formative book, Faith Matters: Faith Mentoring in the Faith Community, Sondra Higgins Matthaei defines a faith-coach as "any person who becomes a vehicle for the expression of God's grace in the growth of other people." Such a process is enhanced by the intentionality of the interaction.

Here are seven areas where Faith Coaches and Life Coach-es serve as models. After all, a coach is going to put players in the best position possible to execute a winning agenda. The coach though can't do so without having lived and accomplished the same. I always felt that the best coaches are those who once played the game. Most of the nuances of the sport they themselves have experienced. This is the same with a "Spiritual Life Coach."

1. Spirituality. Demonstrating a growing relationship with God.

2. Lifestyle. Exhibiting a high standard of behaviour, pas-sing on traditions, sharing attitudes, perspectives and a Christian worldview.

3. Values. Coaching and modelling are the only ways to teach these.

4. Personal Faith Stories. Sharing your own spiritual journey; (sometimes this makes you vulnerable, how-ever it is necessary to show youth that you are not from Mars).

5. Vocation. Teaching the dignity of honest labour, and guiding them into such meaningful situations

6. Community. Being a best friend, showing acceptance even when they mess up. THEY WILL MESS UP!!! One of my professors often told us, "Youth are looking for community not a committee."

7. Femininity/Masculinity. Demonstrating what it means to be a Christian woman or man.

Adapted and edited from The ABZs of Adventist Youth Ministry.

As a living representative of God's grace, a faith or life coach has experienced God's grace in her or his own life, and through grace-full living the coach offers that grace to others. Let us therefore exhibit these attributes of GREAT life coaching to the youth of our country that we love so much, and want to see saved.

Enjoy Coaching!

© 2010 The Freeport News