Deborah Y. Pratt

YOUTH ISSUES

Just as I thought, this captioned topic immediately made you as a parent begin to read, curious as to exactly what I would have to say in today's article.

Well, as a parent, of course I would like to think that we really know best when it comes to our children.

After all we are older than they are, should be more matured, have more life experiences and we are the ones admonished by God to train up our children in the way they should go.

But, do parents really know best in every area of their child's life? Exactly where should they draw the line? Should parents get involved in the affairs of their adult children; should they choose a career or even a mate for their child?

Many parents feel that because they have experienced life it is their responsibility to continue to direct their child's life straight through young adult and even into adulthood.

Some say that they want to spare their children from making some of the mistakes they made while some, be it consciously or subconsciously, are trying to live their lives through their children.

For others they may feel that they have a certain reputation to maintain and therefore their children must attend a certain college, pursue a certain career and live the dream life they visualized for them.

I have heard far too many times children, teenagers preparing to graduate high school and go off to college, complain about being forced to pursue a certain career that they have no desire to.

"If I'm the one paying to send you to college, you are studying to become a doctor or I won't be paying at all."

Believe it or not some parents actually make similar statements to their children. Is this a good thing to do?

As parents, in my humble opinion, our duty should be to train our young children in the right way; teaching them Godly principles, morals and values which should hopefully take them through their adult life.

As a good parent, as long as you are alive, it is normal to be concerned about your child's life whether they are a young child or an adult.

However, once you would have trained them in their youth, you must learn to let go; allow them to make decisions or choices of their own. Even if they fail or if things turn out the way you suspected, it would be their mistake and hopefully they would be able to learn a valuable lesson from it.

Many children have no desire to pursue what their parents may consider as 'conventional careers;' Doctors, Lawyers, Bankers etc.

This greatly upsets some parents; some because they are genuinely concerned about their children's welfare and others because they wonder what their friends and acquaintances may think of their child's career choice. As long as it isn't anything illegal, why not give your child your blessings and allow them to pursue their heart's desire.

People usually work harder and perform better when it is something they really want to do.

Some time ago in preparing an article for this weekly column, I had the opportunity to interview a very intelligent young lady who at the time was head girl at her high school.

She was the baby sister of three older siblings who were also very 'bright' young people; one a law enforcement officer, one a lawyer and the other was at the time in college studying to become a brain surgeon.

This young lady however, though a brilliant student, had no desire for what she referred to as "conventional occupations."

She said she wrestled in her mind with becoming a doctor or chemist, but was not at peace because she knew she wanted to pursue her passion of becoming a fashion de-signer.

She finally built up the courage to tell her parents. Her mother admitted that she was a bit skeptical about her daughter's career choice; however she soon realized that this was something her daughter really wanted to pursue especially when she took the initiative to align herself with a fashion designer while in school and began training as an apprentice.

She then gave her daughter her blessings to pursue the career of her choice.

This young lady went on to pursue an associate degree in fashion design at "The Art Institute" in Ft. Lauderdale. She is said to be doing very well maintaining a high grade point average of 3.67 and enjoying herself im-mensely.

Upon completing "the Art Institute" she plans to head to New York to further her studies in this field.

Some parents discourage their children from pursuing certain careers because they do not think they can make much income from it.

Whether this young lady makes as much money as her lawyer sister or brain surgeon brother (and by the way she possibly can), it does not matter because she is following her dream.

What about those parents who want their children to pursue a certain career because it was something that they always wanted for themselves and were not able to do so? Get over it!

You cannot live your dream through your child. If you feel that it is too late for you to accomplish it, then you must move on and allow your children to follow their own dreams and create a life for themselves.

Parents, what about choosing your child's mates? The last time I checked we were not living in one of those countries such as India, where this practice may be customary. Again as a parent, I reiterate that I understand parents wanting the best for their children, but you must know when to let go.

In most cases a young man may not be a criminal or even a bum, but because he does not have a certain ambition, profession, or status in society, he is not good enough

for your daughter. Again the choice should be your child's.

Do parents really always know what's best for their children? Probably when they are young children when you are responsible for rearing them, however, once they have reached young adult and adulthood you must examine your motives, are you really concerned about what's best for them or are you looking out for your best interest? Think about it.

Written By: Deborah Y. Pratt Certified Corporate Trainer/Motivational Speaker dapsbusserv@yahoo. com.